feature photo

Feature Article #1

An Open Letter To My Brother Upon His Graduation From High School

Welcome to the real world dude. Good Luck!

| June 5th, 2013 | Continued

feature photo

Feature Article #2

And Now A Word From Jesus

The son of god wants to have a few words. I’d clear my schedule.

| October 5th, 2012 | Continued

feature photo

Feature Article #3

The Horrifying Reality of Living In A Comic Book Universe

It’s…oh god it’s really not all that great.

| May 13th, 2012 | Continued

feature photo

Feature Article #4

Inside America’s Dictatorial Regime

And inside look at the oppressive entity that is indoctrinating your children at this very moment.

| March 5th, 2012 | Continued

About this Site

I suppose, at some point, every author has to write a masturbatory biography about who they are and why you would come to them for entertainment on this here internet. This is mine. My name is Travis. I’m a husband, a father, a writer, a stand up comedian, a pro-wrestling enthusiast, a movie geek and [...]

Other Recent Articles

post thumbnail

The Fame Monster

A lost phone and the hidden reality of the celebrity class.

11Mar2013 | | 0 comments | More
post thumbnail

My Resignation Letter to Hogwart’s

I can’t believe anyone would work under these conditions.

22May2012 | | 0 comments | More
post thumbnail

Funeral For A Friend

It’s never easy to lose someone we love.

2Apr2012 | | 1 comment | More
post thumbnail

An Apology For The Events of March 17th, 2012

Having just woken up from the stupor of St. Patricks Day, a whole four days after the fact, it appears that operation “Get Drunk. Start Fights. Be Awesome!” was a resounding success. However it also appears that, like most of my ill conceived schemes, apologies are in order. With that in mind. To the owners [...]

21Mar2012 | | 0 comments | More
post thumbnail

Republican Candidate Whack-A-Mole

“One of the penalties of refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.” ― Plato

13Mar2012 | | 0 comments | More
post thumbnail

Good News Everyone – It’s The End of The World

It was the best of times. It was the end of times.

19May2011 | | 8 comments | More
post thumbnail

It must SUCK to be Marty McFly

After careful analysis it appears that everything is not all rose pedals and hover boards in good ol’ Hill Valley

12Apr2011 | | 0 comments | More
post thumbnail

In Defense of Charlie Sheen

Maybe Charlie Sheen isn’t as crazy as we all think he is.

15Mar2011 | | 4 comments | More
post thumbnail

So I Decided To Kidnap An Author

The only way to get the answers you need is to incapacitate your subject and then terrorize them with your own ineptitude.

9Nov2010 | | 3 comments | More
post thumbnail

Say hello to the AIDA

It wants to help you be a better driver. Then when you’re not looking it’s going to steal your soul.

27Oct2010 | | 1 comment | More
post thumbnail

An Apology To The Internet

My Dearest Internet, I know I’ve been away a long time baby and I’m sorry.  I know I promised you weekly content and that while I’ve been gone guys like Ellis Rodriguez have been uploading funny videos and that damn Rob Kroese has been out there peddling his funny books again while nary a dick [...]

5Oct2010 | | 5 comments | More
post thumbnail

Things To Do With A BodyBag – Go To The Park

What do you get when mix a public park, a child’s party, a body bag and four idiots with a camera?

25May2010 | | 0 comments | More
post thumbnail

Things To Do With A BodyBag – Origins

A new feature for the site! This raises all sorts of questions about what my friends and I with our free time.

8May2010 | | 9 comments | More
post thumbnail

On The Laying of Plans.

They say that “life” is what happens when you’re busy making other plans…or, apparently, when you’re trying to write dick jokes.

4May2010 | | 4 comments | More
post thumbnail

Things My Son Is Trying To Teach Me – Part One.

A little while before my son was born a friend of mine told me, “Good parents will learn as much from their children as the children learn from them.” Initially I thought that this statement was meant to cause me to reflect on the impermanence of life and to cherish learning to see the world [...]

27Apr2010 | | 0 comments | More
post thumbnail

On The Naming Of Grandparents

Things I shouldn’t be trusted to name: Boats, Weapons, Children and Your Parents.

20Apr2010 | | 4 comments | More
post thumbnail

Plans and resolutions

Sometimes it is necessary to layout plans if one is intent on taking over the world.

13Apr2010 | | 3 comments | More
post thumbnail

New Weekly Column – DVD Crapshoot

Every Tuesday – give or take – you can now catch my new column over at The Hollywood Shootout called DVD Crap Shoot.

2Mar2010 | | 1 comment | More
post thumbnail

Oh God My Son Is Mobile!

It’s only when we learn that they can move on their own that we start hiding our cool stuff…and booze.

17Feb2010 | | 2 comments | More
post thumbnail

An Open Letter To Steve Jobs

My response to the realities of the iPad.

29Jan2010 | | 0 comments | More
post thumbnail

A First Hand Look At The Apple Tablet

Sometimes, in order to get a sneak peek of something, you have to do horrible things.

24Jan2010 | | 3 comments | More
post thumbnail

Five Promises The 21st Century Has Failed To Keep

The Oughts have been a decade of disappointment for those of us that grew up in the shadow of the 21st century.

29Dec2009 | | 8 comments | More
post thumbnail

Ninja Assassin Reviewed

It’s like watching a blender made of people and swords filled with more people with swords.

11Dec2009 | | 3 comments | More
post thumbnail

Four Lessons The Military Could Learn From Hollywood

Following these lessons the world will be a way better – and WAY AWESOMER – place.

27Aug2009 | | 7 comments | More
post thumbnail

Fourth Post On You Served

As my two week tenure at You Served has been extended I have a new post up today discussing the merits of how being in the military is like raising an infant.  Go ahead and check that bad boy out.

10Aug2009 | | 0 comments | More
post thumbnail

My disease addled brain

It’s moments like this that make me realize that,usually, I’m only funny to me.

10Aug2009 | | 1 comment | More
post thumbnail

Third Post On VA Mortgage Center

My third guest post is up over at You Served. This time I discuss using conspiracy theories to get out of deploying.

29Jul2009 | | 0 comments | More
post thumbnail

Second Post On VA Mortgage Center

This is the one where I show Congress how to make a REAL terror alert graphic that the public can understand.

27Jul2009 | | 0 comments | More
post thumbnail

New Article Up At VA Mortgage Center

First article up at VAMortgagecenter.com – wherein I wax poetically about military-bloggers and try to pretend I’m a tough guy.

24Jul2009 | | 0 comments | More
post thumbnail

Solving California’s Budgetary Crisis

Come for the political talk. Stay for the boobies.

17Jul2009 | | 2 comments | More
post thumbnail

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

An Ode To Michael Bay!

13Jul2009 | | 4 comments | More
post thumbnail

On Babies, Blogs and Anthony Bourdain

Welcome to Whiskeyforbreakfast.com – a websitefull of dick jokes, stories of a new father and a man who loves all things “inappropriate”.

9Jul2009 | | 1 comment | More
post thumbnail

The Death of Kwod

Ah nostalgia…how you make me feel so old.

7Jul2009 | | 5 comments | More
post thumbnail

MEGAN FOX IS SINGLE!!!!1

I swear, Megan Fox, that I won’t call out Autobot names during our sexcapades.

10Mar2009 | | 6 comments | More
post thumbnail

I’m not a big fan of Superman

Hey Superman; suck my balls.

13Feb2009 | | 6 comments | More
post thumbnail

Mother Nature’s A Bitch

It’s official. Mother Nature is out to god damned get you.

9Feb2009 | | 6 comments | More
post thumbnail

The Epitome Of Food

If you’re a chef…just go ahead and quit…right now.

2Feb2009 | | 8 comments | More
post thumbnail

Bush’s Farewell Speech

A lesson in subtext.

21Jan2009 | | 7 comments | More
post thumbnail

George Bush’ Exit Interview

It’s time to say goodbye to the end of an era.

12Dec2008 | | 11 comments | More
post thumbnail

No on Prop 8

This is more important than all of us. This is about equality for everyone.

28Oct2008 | | 15 comments | More
post thumbnail

Sacred City Derby Girls

Ladies and gentlemen: Sacramento’s own, Sacred City Derby Girls!!!

23Oct2008 | | 15 comments | More
post thumbnail

The Review Of Wanted

If Wanted were an ice cream flavor; it would be disappointment.

20Jul2008 | | 13 comments | More
post thumbnail

Comedy and Updates

More video of stand up comedy.

27Jun2008 | | 10 comments | More
post thumbnail

First Times.

First times are always awkward. And sometimes followed by laughter.

6Jun2008 | | 29 comments | More
post thumbnail

How To Survive A Summer Blockbuster

Reading this could very well save your life.

30May2008 | | 6 comments | More
post thumbnail

Iron Man Reviewed

Why hello there Iron Man. Why yes I would like some robotic kick ass for dessert.

15May2008 | | 11 comments | More
post thumbnail

In Honor Of Earth Day

Your Prius isn’t going to save the world, so shut the fuck up!

29Apr2008 | | 20 comments | More
post thumbnail

A New Public Service Announcement

Fellas, I think you should pay close attention to this one.

13Feb2008 | | 13 comments | More
post thumbnail

A Summons For Santa

A letter to Santa from my attorney. This shit be serious!

19Dec2007 | | 9 comments | More
post thumbnail

Holiday Office Gift Giving Guide

I’ll teach you how to navigate the corporate gift giving world.

9Dec2007 | | 8 comments | More
post thumbnail

My Role Model

It’s always good to have some one to look up to.

6Nov2007 | | 21 comments | More
post thumbnail

Travis Answers the Internet’s Questions

Think of me as Dear Abbey with sociopathic tendencies.

10Oct2007 | | 12 comments | More
post thumbnail

Beating The Blues

When hard times get you down only true companionship can bring you back up.

21Sep2007 | | 17 comments | More
post thumbnail

Transformers – A Review by a humble man

Let the light shine brightly on my life for I have seen – and now reviewed – TRANSFORMERS!!

7Jul2007 | | 24 comments | More
post thumbnail

The I-Phone Revealed

After getting my hands on an I-Phone I discovered the secret features that Steve Jobs never told you about.

6Jul2007 | | 18 comments | More
post thumbnail

Paris Hilton’s Guide To Prison

It’s inevitable that Paris Hilton is going to jail but if she follows my advice she’ll do fine.

12May2007 | | 17 comments | More
post thumbnail

Fuck Family Circus

I’d like to take a moment to piss all over the comic strip institution that is Family Circus.

7May2007 | | 39 comments | More
post thumbnail

Grindhouse – A Review

Grindhouse Motherfucker.

GRINDHOUSE!!!!!!!

1May2007 | | 18 comments | More
post thumbnail

Geek Classification

When dealing with geeks in ones everyday life, one should understand all of their various shapes, sizes and affectations.

8Mar2007 | | 29 comments | More
post thumbnail

A Special Valentines Day

Need a last minute Valentines Day card for that someone special, or not so special? I’m just spreading the love.

14Feb2007 | | 13 comments | More
post thumbnail

If I did it, here’s how it happened

With OJ Simpson’s tell all book being cancelled some friends sent me other choice titles from celebrities that you’ll be seeing on bookshelves in the near future.

24Nov2006 | | 14 comments | More
post thumbnail

Drinking Games

My drinking games are the best there are. Try ‘em. You’ll Like ‘em.

8Oct2006 | | 15 comments | More
post thumbnail

The Wickerman Reviewed

Warner Bros. must hate me, that’s the only way to explain releasing this movie.

12Sep2006 | | 13 comments | More
post thumbnail

My First Trip To Vegas: Part Two

The conclusion to the very first Las Vegas trip saga…complete with yellow cab Larry!

2Sep2006 | | 11 comments | More
post thumbnail

My First Trip To Vegas: Part One

Part One of the story about the first time I went to Las Vegas. It’s a little bit long but well worth it.

27Aug2006 | | 10 comments | More
post thumbnail

Why I Love Wrestling

I’m no closet case about my love for pro-wrestling but a lot of people have asked why. So here’s the reasons why I like pro-wrestling more than every other sport.

11Aug2006 | | 27 comments | More
post thumbnail

These Bands Need To Give It Up

With the summer concert season in full swing, my army of robots will help weed out the ones you shouldn’t see.

27Jul2006 | | 22 comments | More
post thumbnail

Only I Can Save The Olympics

The Olympics suck, but they wouldn’t if I were in charge.

22May2006 | | 1 comment | More
post thumbnail

A Public Service Announcement

I’m here to help people. But mostly I’m here to keep myself out of trouble.

22May2006 | | 2 comments | More
post thumbnail

A Letter To Santa.

I finally got around to writing my letter to Santa. But I still didn’t get what I asked for. The Prick

22May2006 | | 3 comments | More
post thumbnail

If I were president of the world

The heartwarming story of ME, but if I were in charge of everything.

22May2006 | | 12 comments | More
post thumbnail

The Return of MAN-AZE

The return of my White Rapper alter-ego MAN-AZE

22May2006 | | 0 comments | More
post thumbnail

An Inside Look At Episode III

My Conversation with George Lucas about Revenge of The Sith.

22May2006 | | 2 comments | More
post thumbnail

An open letter to my high-school guidance counselor…

And how he shaped my dreams of the future.

22May2006 | | 6 comments | More
post thumbnail

Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow (reviewed)

A review of one of the greatest movies ever. If you love robots that is. And if you don’t? Then you probably have no soul.

22May2006 | | 1 comment | More