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Feature Article #1

Good News Everyone – It’s The End of The World

May 21st is a date that has been advertised all over the world as a day where the whole world gets fucked. I know because I’ve seen billboards, radio ads, crazies on the side of the road and the ever popular “Uncle Milties Traveling Apocalyptic Road Show” effectively eye raping me into submission on the [...]

Travis | May 19th, 2011 | Continued

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Feature Article #2

It must SUCK to be Marty McFly

After careful analysis it appears that everything is not all rose pedals and hover boards in good ol’ Hill Valley

Travis | April 12th, 2011 | Continued

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Feature Article #3

In Defense of Charlie Sheen

Maybe Charlie Sheen isn’t as crazy as we all think he is.

Travis | March 15th, 2011 | Continued

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Feature Article #4

So I Decided To Kidnap An Author

The only way to get the answers you need is to incapacitate your subject and then terrorize them with your own ineptitude.

Travis | November 9th, 2010 | Continued

About this Site

I suppose, at some point, every author has to write a masturbatory biography about who they are and why you would come to them for entertainment on this here internet. This is mine. My name is Travis. I’m a husband, a father, a writer, a stand up comedian, a pro-wrestling enthusiast, a movie geek and [...]

Other Recent Articles

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Say hello to the AIDA

It wants to help you be a better driver. Then when you’re not looking it’s going to steal your soul.

27Oct2010 | Travis | 1 comment | More
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An Apology To The Internet

My Dearest Internet, I know I’ve been away a long time baby and I’m sorry.  I know I promised you weekly content and that while I’ve been gone guys like Ellis Rodriguez have been uploading funny videos and that damn Rob Kroese has been out there peddling his funny books again while nary a dick [...]

5Oct2010 | Travis | 5 comments | More
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Things To Do With A BodyBag – Go To The Park

What do you get when mix a public park, a child’s party, a body bag and four idiots with a camera?

25May2010 | Travis | 0 comments | More
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Things To Do With A BodyBag – Origins

A new feature for the site! This raises all sorts of questions about what my friends and I with our free time.

8May2010 | Travis | 9 comments | More
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On The Laying of Plans.

They say that “life” is what happens when you’re busy making other plans…or, apparently, when you’re trying to write dick jokes.

4May2010 | Travis | 4 comments | More
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Things My Son Is Trying To Teach Me – Part One.

A little while before my son was born a friend of mine told me, “Good parents will learn as much from their children as the children learn from them.” Initially I thought that this statement was meant to cause me to reflect on the impermanence of life and to cherish learning to see the world [...]

27Apr2010 | Travis | 0 comments | More
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On The Naming Of Grandparents

Things I shouldn’t be trusted to name: Boats, Weapons, Children and Your Parents.

20Apr2010 | Travis | 4 comments | More
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Plans and resolutions

Sometimes it is necessary to layout plans if one is intent on taking over the world.

13Apr2010 | Travis | 3 comments | More
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New Weekly Column – DVD Crapshoot

Every Tuesday – give or take – you can now catch my new column over at The Hollywood Shootout called DVD Crap Shoot.

2Mar2010 | Travis | 1 comment | More
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Oh God My Son Is Mobile!

It’s only when we learn that they can move on their own that we start hiding our cool stuff…and booze.

17Feb2010 | Travis | 2 comments | More
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An Open Letter To Steve Jobs

My response to the realities of the iPad.

29Jan2010 | Travis | 0 comments | More
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A First Hand Look At The Apple Tablet

Sometimes, in order to get a sneak peek of something, you have to do horrible things.

24Jan2010 | Travis | 3 comments | More
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Five Promises The 21st Century Has Failed To Keep

The Oughts have been a decade of disappointment for those of us that grew up in the shadow of the 21st century.

29Dec2009 | Travis | 8 comments | More
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Ninja Assassin Reviewed

It’s like watching a blender made of people and swords filled with more people with swords.

11Dec2009 | Travis | 3 comments | More
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Four Lessons The Military Could Learn From Hollywood

Following these lessons the world will be a way better – and WAY AWESOMER – place.

27Aug2009 | Travis | 7 comments | More
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Fourth Post On You Served

As my two week tenure at You Served has been extended I have a new post up today discussing the merits of how being in the military is like raising an infant.  Go ahead and check that bad boy out.

10Aug2009 | Travis | 0 comments | More
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My disease addled brain

It’s moments like this that make me realize that,usually, I’m only funny to me.

10Aug2009 | Travis | 2 comments | More
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Third Post On VA Mortgage Center

My third guest post is up over at You Served. This time I discuss using conspiracy theories to get out of deploying.

29Jul2009 | Travis | 0 comments | More
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Second Post On VA Mortgage Center

This is the one where I show Congress how to make a REAL terror alert graphic that the public can understand.

27Jul2009 | Travis | 0 comments | More
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New Article Up At VA Mortgage Center

First article up at VAMortgagecenter.com – wherein I wax poetically about military-bloggers and try to pretend I’m a tough guy.

24Jul2009 | Travis | 0 comments | More
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Solving California’s Budgetary Crisis

Come for the political talk. Stay for the boobies.

17Jul2009 | Travis | 2 comments | More
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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

An Ode To Michael Bay!

13Jul2009 | Travis | 4 comments | More
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On Babies, Blogs and Anthony Bourdain

Welcome to Whiskeyforbreakfast.com – a websitefull of dick jokes, stories of a new father and a man who loves all things “inappropriate”.

9Jul2009 | Travis | 1 comment | More
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The Death of Kwod

Ah nostalgia…how you make me feel so old.

7Jul2009 | Travis | 5 comments | More
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MEGAN FOX IS SINGLE!!!!1

I swear, Megan Fox, that I won’t call out Autobot names during our sexcapades.

10Mar2009 | Travis | 6 comments | More
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I’m not a big fan of Superman

Hey Superman; suck my balls.

13Feb2009 | Travis | 6 comments | More
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Mother Nature’s A Bitch

It’s official. Mother Nature is out to god damned get you.

9Feb2009 | Travis | 6 comments | More
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The Epitome Of Food

If you’re a chef…just go ahead and quit…right now.

2Feb2009 | Travis | 8 comments | More
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Bush’s Farewell Speech

A lesson in subtext.

21Jan2009 | Travis | 7 comments | More
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George Bush’ Exit Interview

It’s time to say goodbye to the end of an era.

12Dec2008 | Travis | 11 comments | More
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No on Prop 8

This is more important than all of us. This is about equality for everyone.

28Oct2008 | Travis | 15 comments | More
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Sacred City Derby Girls

Ladies and gentlemen: Sacramento’s own, Sacred City Derby Girls!!!

23Oct2008 | Travis | 17 comments | More
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The Review Of Wanted

If Wanted were an ice cream flavor; it would be disappointment.

20Jul2008 | Travis | 13 comments | More
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Comedy and Updates

More video of stand up comedy.

27Jun2008 | Travis | 10 comments | More
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First Times.

First times are always awkward. And sometimes followed by laughter.

6Jun2008 | Travis | 29 comments | More
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How To Survive A Summer Blockbuster

Reading this could very well save your life.

30May2008 | Travis | 6 comments | More
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Iron Man Reviewed

Why hello there Iron Man. Why yes I would like some robotic kick ass for dessert.

15May2008 | Travis | 11 comments | More
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In Honor Of Earth Day

Your Prius isn’t going to save the world, so shut the fuck up!

29Apr2008 | Travis | 20 comments | More
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A New Public Service Announcement

Fellas, I think you should pay close attention to this one.

13Feb2008 | Travis | 13 comments | More
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A Summons For Santa

A letter to Santa from my attorney. This shit be serious!

19Dec2007 | Travis | 9 comments | More
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Holiday Office Gift Giving Guide

I’ll teach you how to navigate the corporate gift giving world.

9Dec2007 | Travis | 8 comments | More
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My Role Model

It’s always good to have some one to look up to.

6Nov2007 | Travis | 21 comments | More
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Travis Answers the Internet’s Questions

Think of me as Dear Abbey with sociopathic tendencies.

10Oct2007 | Travis | 12 comments | More
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Beating The Blues

When hard times get you down only true companionship can bring you back up.

21Sep2007 | Travis | 17 comments | More
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Transformers – A Review by a humble man

Let the light shine brightly on my life for I have seen – and now reviewed – TRANSFORMERS!!

7Jul2007 | Travis | 24 comments | More
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The I-Phone Revealed

After getting my hands on an I-Phone I discovered the secret features that Steve Jobs never told you about.

6Jul2007 | Travis | 18 comments | More
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Paris Hilton’s Guide To Prison

It’s inevitable that Paris Hilton is going to jail but if she follows my advice she’ll do fine.

12May2007 | Travis | 17 comments | More
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Fuck Family Circus

I’d like to take a moment to piss all over the comic strip institution that is Family Circus.

7May2007 | Travis | 39 comments | More
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Grindhouse – A Review

Grindhouse Motherfucker.

GRINDHOUSE!!!!!!!

1May2007 | Travis | 18 comments | More
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Geek Classification

When dealing with geeks in ones everyday life, one should understand all of their various shapes, sizes and affectations.

8Mar2007 | Travis | 29 comments | More
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A Special Valentines Day

Need a last minute Valentines Day card for that someone special, or not so special? I’m just spreading the love.

14Feb2007 | Travis | 13 comments | More
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If I did it, here’s how it happened

With OJ Simpson’s tell all book being cancelled some friends sent me other choice titles from celebrities that you’ll be seeing on bookshelves in the near future.

24Nov2006 | Travis | 14 comments | More
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Drinking Games

My drinking games are the best there are. Try ‘em. You’ll Like ‘em.

8Oct2006 | Travis | 15 comments | More
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The Wickerman Reviewed

Warner Bros. must hate me, that’s the only way to explain releasing this movie.

12Sep2006 | Travis | 13 comments | More
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My First Trip To Vegas: Part Two

The conclusion to the very first Las Vegas trip saga…complete with yellow cab Larry!

2Sep2006 | Travis | 11 comments | More
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My First Trip To Vegas: Part One

Part One of the story about the first time I went to Las Vegas. It’s a little bit long but well worth it.

27Aug2006 | Travis | 10 comments | More
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Why I Love Wrestling

I’m no closet case about my love for pro-wrestling but a lot of people have asked why. So here’s the reasons why I like pro-wrestling more than every other sport.

11Aug2006 | Travis | 27 comments | More
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These Bands Need To Give It Up

With the summer concert season in full swing, my army of robots will help weed out the ones you shouldn’t see.

27Jul2006 | Travis | 22 comments | More
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Only I Can Save The Olympics

The Olympics suck, but they wouldn’t if I were in charge.

22May2006 | Travis | 1 comment | More
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A Public Service Announcement

I’m here to help people. But mostly I’m here to keep myself out of trouble.

22May2006 | Travis | 2 comments | More
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A Letter To Santa.

I finally got around to writing my letter to Santa. But I still didn’t get what I asked for. The Prick

22May2006 | Travis | 3 comments | More
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If I were president of the world

The heartwarming story of ME, but if I were in charge of everything.

22May2006 | Travis | 12 comments | More
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The Return of MAN-AZE

The return of my White Rapper alter-ego MAN-AZE

22May2006 | Travis | 0 comments | More
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An Inside Look At Episode III

My Conversation with George Lucas about Revenge of The Sith.

22May2006 | Travis | 2 comments | More
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An open letter to my high-school guidance counselor…

And how he shaped my dreams of the future.

22May2006 | Travis | 6 comments | More
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Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow (reviewed)

A review of one of the greatest movies ever. If you love robots that is. And if you don’t? Then you probably have no soul.

22May2006 | Travis | 1 comment | More