Archive for Travis

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An Open Letter To Marvel Studios

On behalf of every father who wants their daughter to grow up with a hero of their very own to look up to.

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25Sep2014 | | 5 comments | Continued
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The Inevitable Conclusion of Living in the Toy Story Universe

It’s not going to end the way that you think it does.

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10Jun2014 | | 0 comments | Continued
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An Open Letter To My Brother Upon His Graduation From High School

Welcome to the real world dude. Good Luck!

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5Jun2013 | | 0 comments | Continued
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The Fame Monster

A lost phone and the hidden reality of the celebrity class.

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11Mar2013 | | 0 comments | Continued
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My Resignation Letter to Hogwart’s

I can’t believe anyone would work under these conditions.

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22May2012 | | 0 comments | Continued
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The Horrifying Reality of Living In A Comic Book Universe

It’s…oh god it’s really not all that great.

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13May2012 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Funeral For A Friend

It’s never easy to lose someone we love.

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2Apr2012 | | 1 comment | Continued
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An Apology For The Events of March 17th, 2012

Having just woken up from the stupor of St. Patricks Day, a whole four days after the fact, it appears that operation “Get Drunk. Start Fights. Be Awesome!” was a resounding success. However it also appears that, like most of my ill conceived schemes, apologies are in order. With that in mind. To the owners […]

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21Mar2012 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Republican Candidate Whack-A-Mole

“One of the penalties of refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.” ― Plato

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13Mar2012 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Inside America’s Dictatorial Regime

And inside look at the oppressive entity that is indoctrinating your children at this very moment.

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5Mar2012 | | 4 comments | Continued
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Good News Everyone – It’s The End of The World

It was the best of times. It was the end of times.

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19May2011 | | 8 comments | Continued
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It must SUCK to be Marty McFly

After careful analysis it appears that everything is not all rose pedals and hover boards in good ol’ Hill Valley

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12Apr2011 | | 0 comments | Continued
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In Defense of Charlie Sheen

Maybe Charlie Sheen isn’t as crazy as we all think he is.

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15Mar2011 | | 4 comments | Continued
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So I Decided To Kidnap An Author

The only way to get the answers you need is to incapacitate your subject and then terrorize them with your own ineptitude.

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9Nov2010 | | 3 comments | Continued
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Say hello to the AIDA

It wants to help you be a better driver. Then when you’re not looking it’s going to steal your soul.

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27Oct2010 | | 1 comment | Continued
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An Apology To The Internet

My Dearest Internet, I know I’ve been away a long time baby and I’m sorry.  I know I promised you weekly content and that while I’ve been gone guys like Ellis Rodriguez have been uploading funny videos and that damn Rob Kroese has been out there peddling his funny books again while nary a dick […]

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5Oct2010 | | 5 comments | Continued
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Things To Do With A BodyBag – Go To The Park

What do you get when mix a public park, a child’s party, a body bag and four idiots with a camera?

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25May2010 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Things To Do With A BodyBag – Origins

A new feature for the site! This raises all sorts of questions about what my friends and I with our free time.

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8May2010 | | 9 comments | Continued
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On The Laying of Plans.

They say that “life” is what happens when you’re busy making other plans…or, apparently, when you’re trying to write dick jokes.

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4May2010 | | 4 comments | Continued
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Things My Son Is Trying To Teach Me – Part One.

A little while before my son was born a friend of mine told me, “Good parents will learn as much from their children as the children learn from them.” Initially I thought that this statement was meant to cause me to reflect on the impermanence of life and to cherish learning to see the world […]

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27Apr2010 | | 0 comments | Continued
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On The Naming Of Grandparents

Things I shouldn’t be trusted to name: Boats, Weapons, Children and Your Parents.

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20Apr2010 | | 4 comments | Continued
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Plans and resolutions

Sometimes it is necessary to layout plans if one is intent on taking over the world.

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13Apr2010 | | 3 comments | Continued
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New Weekly Column – DVD Crapshoot

Every Tuesday – give or take – you can now catch my new column over at The Hollywood Shootout called DVD Crap Shoot.

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2Mar2010 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Oh God My Son Is Mobile!

It’s only when we learn that they can move on their own that we start hiding our cool stuff…and booze.

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17Feb2010 | | 2 comments | Continued
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An Open Letter To Steve Jobs

My response to the realities of the iPad.

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29Jan2010 | | 0 comments | Continued
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A First Hand Look At The Apple Tablet

Sometimes, in order to get a sneak peek of something, you have to do horrible things.

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24Jan2010 | | 3 comments | Continued
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Five Promises The 21st Century Has Failed To Keep

The Oughts have been a decade of disappointment for those of us that grew up in the shadow of the 21st century.

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29Dec2009 | | 8 comments | Continued
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Ninja Assassin Reviewed

It’s like watching a blender made of people and swords filled with more people with swords.

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11Dec2009 | | 3 comments | Continued
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Four Lessons The Military Could Learn From Hollywood

Following these lessons the world will be a way better – and WAY AWESOMER – place.

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27Aug2009 | | 7 comments | Continued
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Fourth Post On You Served

As my two week tenure at You Served has been extended I have a new post up today discussing the merits of how being in the military is like raising an infant.  Go ahead and check that bad boy out.

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10Aug2009 | | 0 comments | Continued
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My disease addled brain

It’s moments like this that make me realize that,usually, I’m only funny to me.

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10Aug2009 | | 1 comment | Continued
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Third Post On VA Mortgage Center

My third guest post is up over at You Served. This time I discuss using conspiracy theories to get out of deploying.

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29Jul2009 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Second Post On VA Mortgage Center

This is the one where I show Congress how to make a REAL terror alert graphic that the public can understand.

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27Jul2009 | | 0 comments | Continued
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New Article Up At VA Mortgage Center

First article up at VAMortgagecenter.com – wherein I wax poetically about military-bloggers and try to pretend I’m a tough guy.

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24Jul2009 | | 0 comments | Continued
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Solving California’s Budgetary Crisis

Come for the political talk. Stay for the boobies.

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17Jul2009 | | 2 comments | Continued
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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

An Ode To Michael Bay!

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13Jul2009 | | 4 comments | Continued
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On Babies, Blogs and Anthony Bourdain

Welcome to Whiskeyforbreakfast.com – a websitefull of dick jokes, stories of a new father and a man who loves all things “inappropriate”.

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9Jul2009 | | 1 comment | Continued
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The Death of Kwod

Ah nostalgia…how you make me feel so old.

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7Jul2009 | | 5 comments | Continued