Like most “artsy types” I keep a notebook by the bed in case I wake up in the middle of the night with an idea. Sometimes these ideas are jokes that hit me in the midst of, what I can only assume is, a dopamine induced fit of giggles that fails to live up to expectations in the harsh light being awake and lucid. Some of these ideas end up being bits of comedy that I think will live up to the light of day, yet bomb in spectacular fashion when I try them out on stage. One particular turd sandwich that I tried to feed to a paying audience was a dream I had wherein I had an all purpose button on my taint. Think of it like the Staples “Easy Button” except that it replaced all remote controls, garage door openers and cell phones. Need something done? Taint Button! Sure, it’s sounds kind of funny on paper, and I bet with the right setup it could work beautifully. But just telling that story the day after I had the dream without polishing it up was like trying feed people spaghetti-os at a four star restaurant. A different idea actually turned out to be pretty worthwhile, and I’m developing it into a full fledged story. But last night was one of the rare – wake up in a fit of giggles – moments.
I think that somewhere, in my Nickelodeon addicted days, there was a kids TV game show that tried to teach you a lesson while enticing you with cash and prizes. I seem to remember one of these lessons being the explanation of what a homonym is. Homonym, non English majors – or functional idiots like me who had to look it up on the internet – is when the same word has two different meanings. Please see figure one.
In my head I saw a similar picture. Two images, side by side, same words, different meaning. This is the fruit of my sleep deprived, new parent brain.
yup, that’s a titty eating a slice of pizza
I woke my wife and son up laughing like an evil mad scientist.
parts of me are broken