Things To Do With A BodyBag – Origins

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When you’re a thirty year old man-child – like I am generally wont to be – birthdays can tend to be an interesting experiment in tolerance, understanding and an appreciation of inappropriate humor. It’s not an uncommon experience to find any of the following things wrapped underneath the birthday tree:

1.Gallons of hard liquor.
2.Various action figures posed in compromising positions.
3.A litany of sex toys
4.possibly a midget dressed in a wrestling outfit.

Needless to say my birthdays, over the years, have been interesting. My 27th birthday, however, stands out as a testament to my friends and family’s understanding of my childish nature and my – at the time – soon to be wife’s patience.

Right around that time an epic movie of dominating ass kickery was released called 300. This movie, considered to be the pinnacle of movie going shit stompery, resonated amongst my friends and I. Not only was it a comic book turned film that held close to the source material it was a movie about kicking unmitigated amounts of ass. It was, essentially, a Die Hard film based thousands of years in the past.

Such was the grip of this film on us that my good friend Ryan showed up at my apartment on the day we were going to see the movie bearing a home made gift that must have come from divine mandate: a Spartan costume. But this was no mere store bought costume. My friend had spent hours scouring the home improvement aisles of WalMart seeking the tools needed to create his gift. Like McGyver mixed with a low budget production Ryan put together a Spartan costume made from common household items. And, once donned, it looked like this:

The shield is the lid to a Rubber Maid storage bin. The helmet was a combination of a bathroom trashcan and a scrub brush. According Ryan these items were obtained at great personal expense. “ I was standing in the aisle, putting trash cans on my head and analyzing which ones would and would not work as helmets. People were looking at me like I was crazy but they didn’t understand the necessity of my quest.” My birthday present; causing my friends to become even greater social outcasts.

While the home made Spartan costume contained considerable amounts of win it was the vehicle in which this gift was delivered that brought the most joy into my wayward heart. For you see this costume, made with great passion and artistic diligence, was presented to me in this:

A white body bag.

That’s right; this gift, embodying the can do spirit of the Spartan army was brought to me in the greatest of gift bags. And while the costume is perfect for any number of formal occasions, what does one do with a body bag that one has laying about the house?

And that is what brings us to the newest feature at Whiskey For Breaksfast: Things To Do With A Body Bag. Over the course of the next few months I’ll be showing you, with the help of some friends from work and Lou over at Digital Noise Photo, what you can do if you just happen to have a body bag lying around the house.

Along the way, as we shoot each set, you’ll also get little insider videos like the one my friend Steve posted on facebook during our first day of shooting.

Seriously; this is what I do with my free time.

Tolerance is a virtue

PS – this feature is one that I’m completely open to contributions on. If you have an idea for a Thing To Do With A Body Bag email me through the contact form or find me on twitter and use the hashtag #thingstodowtihabodybag


There Are 9 Responses So Far. »

  1. That costume is awesome! My daughter loves that movie. She goes around the house shouting “This…Is…Sparta!!!!” and kicks an imaginary Persian into an imaginary well. They’re so cute at this age. I’ll get back to you if I think of anything.

  2. I just remember the phone call from Ryan “The Spartan demands women and booze.” “We’re at Bevmo, what more do you want?” And the epicness of you standing on a chair with your “cape” being waved.

    Was that really four years ago?

  3. Travis, Travis, Travis… I remember this well. Particularly I remember being forwarded that photo in e-mail with some kind of slurred text in which you enumerated the numbers of ways that Jack Daniels was your best friend.

    What I don’t remember, however, is this: was this pre-being-barbecued-by-the-media-and-losing-your-job or post-being-hound-by-the-media-and-losing-you-job?

  4. Shayrah – I use the very same 300 method of kicking people down wells to solve all of my problems.

    Christy – It was a fairly epic night.

    Steph – This was before I was raked across the coals by an asshat of a reporter. Ah good times. Also, Jack Daniels was a very good friend that night.

  5. Oh yes, there WILL be blood…

    Although the blood’s a little less like blood, and more like awesomesauce. 😀

  6. What happened to making a slip ‘n slide for the kids? My daughter just said that would be AWESOME.

    And she just asked…..”does he have body bags lying around?”


  7. Lou – what does awesomesauce taste like?

    LL – slip n slide. Noted. And tell your daughter, “Yes, for some ungodly reason, yes he does.”

  8. That costume is awesome! My daughter loves that movie. She goes around the house shouting “This…Is…Sparta!!!!” and kicks an imaginary Persian into an imaginary well. They’re so cute at this age. I’ll get back to you if I think of anything.

  9. The body bag would be perfect for carrying roughly-human-shaped dirty laundry. Provided there’s a laundromat within walking distance, you can throw that bundle over your shoulder and entertain strangers for blocks.

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